If You Do Well…

Posted on February 10, 2012 by

Genesis 4:6-7 “And the Lord said unto Cain, “Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen? If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.”

I have never done a word study via blog so bear with me… I have highlighted the words I want to look at. I like using the Ancient Hebrew Lexicon because it gives you a deeper, more concrete understanding of abstract words. If you didn’t already know, the Ancient Hebrews used pictograms for their letterings much like Egyptian hieroglyphics.

  • well: The pictograms here are a basket and a tent or house. The literal meaning being “surround the house.” The house is surrounded by grace, beauty, love, health & prosperity, something functional. To function properly.
  • accepted: The action here is “to lift”, the concrete definition is “height.”
  • sin: The action is “to measure”, concretely it means “cord”, and the abstract definition is “to miss”. When shooting an arrow or other object to a target, the distance that one misses is measured with a cord. The wrong actions of one are measured against the correct action. So literally sin is missing the mark.
  • lieth: The action is “to lay”, to lie down to rest
  • desire: This word has to do with the riverbeds becoming full of water, overflowing into the surrounding land. So to this kind of desire has to do with running after or running over and implies a movement toward the thing wanted, it is wholly based on the seeker’s action.
  • rule: (I love this one!) The action is “to rule” and abstractly it means dominion, as in the dominion one rules over. Also the comparison of things as a rule of measurement. [We get the english word “marshal” from this hebrew word] This is often used as a proverb or parable, to compare one thing to another in the sense of a rule or measurement.

God is saying to Cain: “if you function properly your countenance would not fall and you will be uplifted. If not, “missing the mark” is laying in wait bursting with anticipated victory; you must measure yourself against it and not be found wanting.”

What does it mean to function properly?

Take a dixie cup. It’s a waxy paper cup made for water at the water cooler. A dixie cup could not function properly if used as a coffee cup. One would find themselves disappointed with the results when the wax melts and hot coffee seeps out the bottom and side seams. A dixie cup would make a very poor coffee cup.

Take a hammer. One side of the head is made for pounding nails into wood, the other side of the head is made for taking them out. A hammer would not function properly if used as a screw driver it is simply not made for it!

Function properly. I am in love with this idea of functioning properly!

In what way was Cain not “functioning properly?” Let’s look a few verses earlier:

Genesis 4:3-5

“And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the Lord. 4 And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the Lord had respect unto Abel and to his offering: 5 But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.”

  • respect: to gaze at or about (properly for help); by implication to inspect, consider, compassionate, be non plussed (as looking around in amazement)

The Ancient Hebrew Lexicon further describes: The shepherd inspects and watches over the flock with compassion and protection. Also to look with respect.

  • wroth: vehemence, anger, impetuous force; violence fury.

So you have the brothers bringing an offering to the Lord, then you have God respecting Abel’s offering and not respecting Cain’s. Cain’s response was an all out head-down-huffing-and-puffing tantrum. God’s answer to Cain’s response was instruction, “if you do well.” Or as we have learned by the definition, “if you function properly, your countenance would not fall and you will be uplifted.”

We can find out what functioning properly meant for Cain by investigating who he was and what he was made for. First, Cain was a man. Secondly, Cain was the firstborn of Adam and Eve. Thirdly, Cain was Abel’s brother. When God tells Cain that he isn’t functioning properly, I don’t believe He is referring to the offering Cain brought. I believe He is referring to functioning properly as a man, a firstborn, and a brother. Cain didn’t function properly in ANY of those roles!

CAIN THE MAN

Ecclesiastes 12:13 “Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep His commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.”

  • fear: The pictograms are a man’s head and a hand. The action is to throw and the abstract definition is fear. As in “awe or fear where one throws self to the foot of one in authority. “ *important to note that this fear has everything to do with whose authority you are willingly subjecting yourself to.
  • keep: The action of this word is “to guard,” concretely it means “briar,” and the abstract meaning is “custody.” A close watching of something for guarding or protecting. Shepherds constructed corrals of briers at night to protect the flock from predators.
  • commandments: This word is one of the few that don’t have any nuggets hidden within the definition, it means simply what it says.
  • duty: I am so excited about this word because I found that it is one of those places where they have placed a group of words or a phrase to translate one word. “For this is the whole duty of man,” is really simply the word “man.”

Mathematically it would be:

(One who throw’s self at the foot of God) + (preserves or guards God’s commands) = MAN

Let’s look at this verse like we have looked up the word “man” in the most complete dictionary ever written:

Man: One who throw’s self at the foot of the God and preserves or guards His commands.

A properly functioning man is one who has bowed self in reverence to God and keeps His commands. Had Cain been properly functioning as a man, he would have regarded God’s opinion above his own. Cain’s reverential preference for God’s judgement would have naturally produced in Cain a regard for Abel’s offering. Instead, Cain placed his own judgement above God’s and threw a fit in disagreement.

CAIN THE FIRSTBORN

Exodus 13::2 “Sanctify unto Me all the first born, whatsoever openeth the womb among the children of Israel, both of man and of beast: it is Mine.”

This verse is telling us something of the character of God, He really likes the first born. God holds the first born as His own. (Perhaps Abel saw the special affinity God had for Cain, as the first born; and, perhaps that was what provoked him to offer the first born of his flock.)

What does it look like when someone belongs to another?

My daughter loves hand-me-downs. Without knowing who their previous owners were she can smell them and tell whose house they came from. She can look at the style and tell who would’ve worn them and ninety-nine percent of the time she is right. This is an example of what it means to belong to someone. Similarly, we all have known a friend; who, when upon a deeper intimacy with another friend, begins to take on their mannerisms. How about a child who shares the same facial expressions as their mother or father? The same food likes and dislikes? This is what it means to belong to someone! We look like them, we smell like them, we act like them, we share the same likes and dislikes as them. In essence, be become a reflection of them.

As firstborn, Cain was supposed to be a reflection of God. As a properly functioning first born he would’ve seen the value in first fruits because he would have shared God’s affinity for them. A properly functioning first born would have offered the first of his crops, and had regard for any offering of first fruits knowing and sharing God’s preference for them.

CAIN THE BROTHER

Genesis 4:2 “And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.”

  • brother: (the Ancient Hebrew gives this beautiful description) The action of the word is “to protect”, concretely it means “hearth” and the abstract definition is “brotherhood.” The pictograms used are the ox head meaning strength or authority; and, a wall. Together they mean “strong wall”. In Hebrew thought, a wall is more than a vertical barrier but anything that separates or divides. The hearth around the fire protected the house from the heat and embers of the fire. A brother is one who stands between the enemy and the family, a protector.

Cain was Abel’s brother. His brother. Cain was supposed to be the one standing between the enemy and Abel, protecting him from the enemy. This was perhaps his greatest failure for nestled within it are the other two elements of who Cain was made to be. As Abel’s brother, from the security of his position as first born, and fulfilling his duty as a man he should have had a great desire for Abel to succeed in an equally intimate fellowship with the Almighty. As a properly functioning brother, Cain ought to have been the one standing between the enemy and his brother, not the conduit by which the enemy would work. Had Cain been properly functioning in his role as brother he would have stayed away from Abel until he had dealt with his own rebellious heart.

I believe God loved Cain. I believe God created Cain with the same precision and care that He created Adam, Eve, and Abel. I believe God desired a depth of fellowship with Cain. I believe God wanted to see Cain succeed at being everything he was created to be. God cared enough to look through the unlovely attitude Cain exhibited and lovingly instruct him. Had Cain shared his heart with God, enquiring of Him and beseeching Him to set his feet to righteousness, God would have heard his prayer; just as He heard Jesus in Gethsemane, and Abel would have lived to a ripe old age. God tried to warn Cain that sin wanted to have it’s way with him but Cain was too puffed up to be teachable. He had already bought the lie and abdicated all three of his roles at once, ultimately despising every function for which God had made him as he stated, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” TRAGIC.

From the first moment that I ever heard the account of Cain and Abel I always thought it was a story about how God loved and favored one brother over the other. I resisted a deeper look into that portion of scripture desperately wishing that I had equal rights to the depths of Father-Son intimacy I witnessed in others. What I have learnt is that while I always saw myself as I saw Cain; unlovely, rejected and unworthy, God has seen me as He saw Cain; accepted and worthy of His time, care, attention, and personal instruction. Oh, yes, and beloved! SDG tj

Ephesians 3:20-21 “Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think according to the power that worketh in us, Unto Him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.

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A Journal Entry

Posted on January 11, 2012 by
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This gallery contains 3 photos.

Never in a million years did I think it would come to this, but here goes… My most recent journal entry:

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Laying the Promise Down

Posted on December 15, 2011 by

A lot of people talk about holding on to a promise.  I’ve heard sermons about it, I’ve heard friends proclaim it.  Almost as often, I’ve heard people talk about laying down the promise.  I have never been able reconcile the two.  If I laid the promise down how could I possibly hold on to it?  In the midst of my intellectual wrestlings with two seemingly opposing actions, I struggled with the wait.  How long it seemed!

People refer to Abraham as an encouraging example of both holding onto the promise and laying it down.  This was never an encouraging thing to me.  I would think about Abraham with a certain dread wondering if that would be how it would go with my promise.  He never saw all those babies he was promised.  He dwelt in tents his whole life holding on to the promise.  Would I have to wait until heaven to see my promise?

My recent battle with disappointment only added to my difficulty.  Thinking that expecting meant I was holding on to the promise, I vigilantly watched for it.  When the promise didn’t come disappointment taunted me and brought that old bully fear to get me to never expect again.  Was that what laying down a promise meant?  Was I to not expect the promise anymore?  Was the promise to not be so important to me as to consider it and watch for it?  Pride and frustration rose up within me as I tightly gripped the promise in fear of disappointment.  I held on so tightly that I nearly strangled the promise as fear and disappointment nearly strangled my hope.  And then you have Jesus, authoring and finishing my faith.

I keep a journal.  I have filled up many over the years.  As journals replete with my scribble collected on my bookcase I noticed a lack in continuity in their appearance. Some were spiral bound, some were not, some had flowers, some were plain, some were large, others were small.  Resolving to remedy the sight, I went shopping at the local bookstore.  It was there that I found exactly what I needed.  A refillable leather bound journal was perfect.  The inserted notepads were handsomely crafted and the leather cover was stylish without being fussy.  It is in this very cool looking book that I pour my heart out to God.  When I hear Him speak, I write those words in my journal as well.  A few years ago, He told me He was making all of my dreams come true.  I wondered what it could mean.  I pondered it for a good long while.  Then I decided to write my dreams down so I would know when the promise came.  I wrote them in my journal.

Many journals once void of pen and ink have been retired, overflowing with my supplications and prayers, to the bookshelf.  When the time came to shelve the one with my dreams written in it, I took the time to carefully rip out that page.  I then folded it up and placed it in my leather cover.  I would frequently read over it to encourage myself and remember what I was waiting for.  When the enemy brought up all the apparent lacks in my life, I read my folded up paper.

When I felt disappointed, I read my folded up paper.

When I felt unaccepted, I read my folded up paper.

When I felt discouraged, I read my folded up paper.

When I yearned for an affectionate parent, I read my folded up paper.

When I felt very far away from God, I read my folded up paper.

When I felt unworthy, I read my folded up paper.

When I felt unloved, I read my folded up paper.

When I felt hopeless, I read my folded up paper.

This was my way of holding onto the promise.

Over time I seemed to struggle less with most of the things that caused me to read my folded up paper.  Disappointment however, continually snuck up on me.  I always dealt with the results of the disappointment and never met it head on.  Then the “trust sermon” of my last blog post happened, and I stepped into the ring against Disappointment once and for all standing on the Savior’s victory.

Disappointment lost it’s hold on me.

Then something wonderful happened.

My grip on the promise loosened.

I didn’t let it go, but my grip relaxed as fear of losing it disappeared.  Perhaps this is what is meant by laying down a promise.  It’s not about giving up on it.  No, I am very much expecting Him to do as He has said.  It’s about knowing that He is making good on it.  So much so that you leave it with Him to complete in accordance with His good will and pleasure.

Yes, I find that it’s time to lose the crutch. My folded up paper has been a source of comfort to me as my heavenly Father cultivated trust within me.  Where once upon a time that folded up piece of paper was the evidence of the promise I waited for, faith must now take it’s rightful place as the real evidence of things unseen.

It’s time.

~SDG

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Disappointment

Posted on December 9, 2011 by

About a month ago, after a good sermon on trust, I went up for prayer.

I don’t know exactly what I was expecting.

Maybe a feel good moment…

Maybe an encouraging word…

Maybe a miraculous download of trust as the sun shone thru the clouds and the hallelujah chorus did what they do best!

Do you know what happened?

Nothing.

Yep.

Absolutely nothing.  Oh, and to top it off, I couldn’t even feel the presence of my God. No Spirit moving, no battle cry, nothing.

You can imagine what came next…

Disappointment.

Disappointment and I are old foes, and I passionately purposed in my heart to get the best of it if it was the last thing I did!

Disappointment is not a good thing, nor is it fun.  Yet, there are times when it can be a blessing.

For instance; recently, the Lord uncovered a need, the depths of which I cannot even begin to express.  It was a need I had been aware of for some time, but did not understand how great a need it was.  This is not an easy need to be met, and not an easy thing to have faith for as it seems to require a flesh and blood vessel.  As I ventured out of my shell and endeavored to trust in a situation that the Lord had orchestrated, I found that the need was not met.  With that realization came great disappointment.

This instance of disappointment was a different beast than the one that followed the “Trust Sermon” mentioned earlier.

Webster defines disappointment as follows:  to be defeated of expectation or hope; to be hindered from the attainment of that which was expected, hoped, or desired.

In the above case, I think that I had a flavor of a hope that God could meet my need.  I must have had an idea that it was possible in order to have been able to ask Him to meet it.  However, when someone came along and offered to meet it my hope became frustrated.  Why?  Because I then allowed my hope to shift from God to the one I had assumed He would supply my need through.  Will God meet that need through that person? Maybe yes.  Maybe no.  It’s not really my business.  I must keep my eyes focused on God, not on any other thing.  In His Sovereignty, God can definitely meet all my needs in any method He chooses; even thru a surrendered vessel.  But, where does that put my hope?  In Christ.

“But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” Phil 4:19

This was an example of disappointment being a blessing.  When we are in danger of putting anyone but God on the throne of our hearts disappointment is a great gift if we will humble ourselves and acknowledge our error.

As for the disappointment following the “Trust Sermon,” that was the bad disappointment.  Why?  Because when I stepped up to the altar in response I was effectively saying “yes Lord Jesus, I want to trust You all the way.  Please cause me to trust You.”  You see that was me, recognizing my deficiency and placing my hope in His ability to fix it.  The sermon was Him, aware of my deficiency, providing me with an opportunity to allow Him to have it.  The disappointment that came was my heart aborting it’s hope that He would choose to fix it.  And, just as Jesus quickly pulled a sinking Peter up from the water he once stood upon, my loving Savior quickly pulled me up from a miasma of doubt.  Then, after a time of repentance, I stepped into the ring with my old foe Disappointment.  I was steadfastly intent that defeat was it’s only option.  From this position, I could see truth.  Every day of my journey has been a step closer to the promise and in the spirit of the gravity of the situation, the enemy comes and taunts me every time that the promise hasn’t been manifested.   The wait weighs on me as impatience threatens to rise up and frustrate my soul from within while disappointment comes from without to breach the armor my Lord has carefully fit me with.

What I have learnt is that if I believe God I must not be disappointed in any instance of His will for my life.  Belief and disappointment simply cannot coexist.  Where there is disappointment there is always unbelief.  Disappointment must be vanquished.

The necessary disappointments that come when our hope is built upon things of this world would disappear the moment we whole heartedly placed our trust in the One Whom most deserves it.  The disappointment that comes as a result of the accuser spouting lies against the character of our Lord would be utterly powerless when we really “know in Whom we have believed.”  ~SDG

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The Elder Brother…

Posted on November 22, 2011 by

The truth hurts and yet it always sets free.  I have encountered that truth many times in the Word of God.  One parable in particular; however, has brought me such discomfort that I shrunk back and did not allow it to set me free.  This parable has continually been a thorn in my side, bringing great frustration to my flesh with pride always rising up to defend my guile ridden heart as it cloaked itself with false humility.

The parable I am referring to is “The Prodigal Son” found in Luke 15:11-32.  It is an account of a man with two sons.  The younger requests his share of his inheritance and goes out and lives loosely and squander’s every dime he was given.  The elder remains with his father.  When the Prodigal comes to his senses he humbly comes home full of penitence.  The father is overjoyed at the return of his son and throws a great big party.  Can you imagine the overwhelming appreciation the restored son felt for a father who was so full of mercy?  The elder brother is not amused. He is utterly indignant at the whole spectacle.  He cannot believe that after everything his younger brother wasted he is so easily forgiven.  He cannot believe that after walking a straight line his whole life and being the “loyal son” he is repaid by being undercut by this irresponsible boy!

I imagine the sibling rivalry began the moment they became brothers.  Each day the elder brother keeping score of both the fatherly favor his younger brother had and of behaviors that made the youngster unworthy of such favoritism.  I imagine there were days when the elder would even point out to his father the flaws he saw in the younger brother.  And, the day when the younger asked for his share of his father’s money, well that day I imagine the elder sat back and sighed, finally being validated that his younger brother was good for nothing and that himself alone was a good and loyal son.   Now his father would see the virtue of his firstborn.  His father would surely bestow all his favor on him now.

So the elder works, he keeps good care of his father’s business.  He minds the workers in the fields taking care that they are diligent and thorough.  He lives frugally so as to not waste any of his father’s money.  He busies himself with being a son that his father can be proud of.

And then– the younger comes back to forgiveness.  The father once again bestow’s his favor on his dear young penitent son.  The elder is fuming mad because his dreams were never realized.  He worked his tail off trying to get his father to notice him and never enjoys the fruit of his labor.

Luke tells us what the younger son did while he was away, and I have just supposed what the elder was doing while his brother was away but what was the father doing?

I suppose he was in prayer and fasting for his younger son.  I suppose he was heart broken that now he had lost both sons.  That’s right, both.  The younger left for a life of indulgence, but from the moment his second son was born his first born withdrew. And so I submit that the elder left in heart long ago.  What was worse is he had the appearance of being there and so it was openly evident to none but the father.  How the father’s heart had to hurt knowing that his eldest child did not trust him with his heart.

This parable has always bothered me.  What bothered me wasn’t that the prodigal came back nor that the father eagerly received him.  What bothered me was that there was clearly a lack of perceived acceptance as concerned the elder brother.  Why hadn’t the father lavished his favor and blessing upon the elder son?  How I struggled with this!  When the father told the elder that everything was already his; it seemed so, I don’t know, insincere.  Like, “Sure NOW you say everything you have is mine! “

Oh, yes, while most have related to the prodigal, I have related to the elder brother. It’s terrible I know but if you look up in the beginning of this blog you will see that I have already confessed to being utterly wicked in heart.

Here is the truth of the tale:  Even with all the vile sin committed by the prodigal son the greatest offense to the father was not in those very poor decisions, no, the greatest offense to the father was committed by the elder son.  Every. Single. Day.

Everyday that the elder son worked to be perfect.  Everyday that the elder didn’t ask anything of the father.  Everyday the elder busied himself with the affairs of the appearance of honor and integrity and virtue.  Everyday the elder built a wall separating his heart from his father’s with his works to “be good.”

It is true the Prodigal Son squandered his inheritance from his father, but the Elder Son squandered something far more valuable; his relationship with his father.

This revelation has cut me to the heart.  As I have looked at my Prodigal brothers and sisters and watched my Heavenly Father’s hand of love so overwhelmingly drenched upon them I have wondered “when will He kill the fattened cow for me?” While I was watching, they were running to Him with abandon as I suspiciously stood where He told me and did all that He asked.  As I watched, I squandered.  He has been that loving and merciful father waiting for me to come home in heart.

I see it now.

It’s been a slow process of realization, and He has been so good and patient with me in the midst of it. ~SDG

Psalm 145:8 “The Lord is gracious, and full of compassion; slow to anger, and of great mercy.”

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Truth. Trust. Trial.

Posted on November 13, 2011 by

My journey of late has been enlightening and trying.  Enlightening as the Lord reveals deep truths of my character in contrast to His.  Trying in that the revealed truth requires a response.  In a word my answer has been, “yes.”

Yes, I will stay under the hand of the only One Who is able to instill everything good in me!  Yes, I will believe that He will complete the good work He has begun in me!  Yes, I will stand in declaration that Jesus Christ is indeed Who He says He is!  Yes, I will stand in declaration that Jesus Christ did what He said He did!

Yes!

Truth had revealed fear, pride and unbelief.  I asked Him to crush the boulder of fear that stood between He and I.  I asked Him to fill me with trust and humility.

Honestly I was looking for that fairy tale ending.  You know the story:  A princess.  A tower.  A dragon.  A knight saving the day.   I was hoping for that crush-fear-while-infilling-me-with-trust-and-humility miracle.

Do you know what I got?

A trial.

I must be honest, I was disappointed when that instantaneous miracle didn’t come.

And yet, I must remember; the promise will come at the appointed time.  Just because today wasn’t that time doesn’t mean it won’t happen.  It’s still trust building time.  Herein is the beauty of it all.  I asked for trust and I got an opportunity to trust.  That’s what trials are you know, an opportunity to trust.

As this realization hit me I asked the Lord, “what does trust looks like in the midst of my trial?”  Peace flooded my disappointed soul as the knowledge came.  I must keep my head down and as Donny Querin once said, “maintain eternal perspective!”

~SDG

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Truth Keeps Coming

Posted on November 12, 2011 by

Standing in the light of His presence every dark corner of my heart has been exposed and sins of character have been revealed.
Oh, the sorrow this revelation has brought to my heart!

A flood of other realities come to my mind. I can almost see the mechanism of lies the enemy has been throwing in my general direction. Like a marionette on strings I have been moving in harmony with the deceptive realities the enemy has painted for me. All while safely hidden beneath the cloak of partial obedience.

I stand filled with remorse for who I am apart from Christ and my heart continues to break as I see the secret sins I have hidden beneath the wonderful white robes of my Savior. Sins that no one can see. Infractions against those closest to me. Judgement. Unmercifulness. Impatience. Sins born from fear, pride, and ultimately unbelief.

Again, I weep bitterly at the realization of the great depravity I have held back from the cleansing blood of the Lamb. Fear amounts to an adulterous view of my Lord’s enemy, pride an improper view of myself, and unbelief a power denying view of the God of the universe; the one I, with my mouth, call “Lord.”

I know what you are thinking. I shouldn’t be focused on who I am apart from Christ. The thing is the more He reveals His venerable holiness the more I see who I am in stark contrast. Again, let me remind you, I feel no condemnation. I feel only remorse, a great sorrow deep within me counter balanced with the hope of redemption realized. Indeed, I believe my loving heavenly Father has held back this part of my journey until I was nestled safely in the sweet blessed assurance of being redeemed by the Blood of the Lamb!

Pilate asked Jesus once, “What is Truth?” My truth is this: I, Tammy Jo, have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.  ~SDG

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